20060429

51 States of the US of A

Today, a miracle happened. No, no, I know what you're thinking: "Oh, Zak, I'm SOO glad to hear Julia Child has been resurrected from her grave and returned to daytime television" <=sorry to dissapoint you, but, NO, Julia Child is dead...now get the FUCK over it! The miracle has occured that Puerto Rico has finally, after decades of internal debate, years of struggling, months of deliberating, days of urinating, and hours of milking the Goat of Yarazila, they voted "YES". What does this mean for America proper?? Anyone??? VACATION! President Condi has been kind enough to grant Puerto Rican citizenship to everyone in every state, excluding Alabama, Mississippi, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, and North Dakota. The five former have been denounced recently by the White House for their participation in the fostering of nuclear proliferation, and North Dakota's citizens have been excluded because you can't take a polar bear and send it to the Mojave desert and expect it to survive.

If only Jamaica would just, give in, 'mon, and vote for their state-ency...then the price of the famous Dutch filling would fall.